SHE IS HERE!!!

I can not believe she is finally here. We wanted to wait a little longer, but the Lord has
His perfect timing. The past couple of days have been really hard, but I thought I would share with you the events that led up to the arrival of our little, tiny miracle.

Monday I began to have the feeling that something wasn't right. Nothing had changed physically, but I had a feeling I could not explain. I woke up Monday morning determined to take a shower because I felt like it might be the last chance I would have before she was born. Little did I know that I would be right. Again, I absolutely can not explain it, except to say that I do feel like the Lord sometimes uses those feelings to prepare us for what lies ahead.

Monday Ella's ultrasound was fine, except she did not practice breathing, which is not uncommon in her age (plus all the meds I was taking), but then her heart rate started to dip some during the day. It had happened before, but, again, I just felt like things were different. My doctors put me on continuous monitoring, and gave me another ultrasound that night, which was fine except, again, she would not practice breathing. I called Jason (who was planning to go to Andalusia that night), and convinced he and my Daddy to come spend the night Monday night. Hurricane Ida was set to hit the coast, and there was talk of closing the bridge in Pensacola. I really wanted Daddy and J to be with me and Mama when she was born, and I felt like I wasn't sure if I would make it through the night without delivering Ella. So, they came. But, Monday night passed and still no baby.

Tuesday I woke up with that same weird feeling, and my sweet nurse told me that Ella's heart rate had still been dipping through the night. I asked her if she thought that I would deliver Ella. Though she wasn't saying much, I could tell she was nervous, and she paged one of the resident doctors who came in my room and told me my anxiety was getting the best of me, that I should think positive thoughts and that we would see how my ultrasound went that day. Five minutes later, Dr. Doback, one of the two main doctors handling my case, came in and did an ultrasound, and could not get Ella to move. He said we had one hour, and that I needed to get my Daddy and Jason here right away. From that point, things moved very quickly, and I got to see Jason walking through the door as Dr. Doback was wheeling me into the operating room. He was not allowed to come in with me because since I had back surgery, they weren't sure an epidural would take, so they decided to put me under general anesthesia. Since my delivery, I have learned that Dr. Doback does not usually go into surgery with his patients, and Jason and I have discussed how much that meant to us that he was with me. We feel like that is just another way the Lord was looking out for me and Ella, and we believe Dr. Doback is a gift to us from God. We're not sure if it's just because he loves the Tide like J, or what, but whatever the reason he chose to be with us, we are very greatful, and I feel like he is the reason things went as well as they did. So thank you, Dr. Doback...you are forever in our hearts and lives.

Looking back, I am really thankful that I was, in a way, prepared, as it made seem things less scary. Of course the rest of Tuesday is a huge blur, and I was completely out of it the rest of the day. I vaguely remember people who visited, and bits and pieces of conversations. It was only today that I remembered Jason bought me a necklace with Ella's birthstone that day, and he also bought her a tiny ring with hearts and her birthstone. He wanted us both to have something special to celebrate her birth. Did I tell you I have the best husband ever?

Yesterday I woke up thinking what a breeze my C-section had been, and how I was not even in pain. What I didn't realize was that I had an IV hooked up with medication that they later told me was 13 times stronger than Morphine, and all I had to do was push a little button to receive the meds, and that I could get a dose of it as often as every six minutes. One of my great resident doctors came by and told me that they would be unhooking that and the magnesium drip at 11:00 yesterday morning. I remember her telling me to hit the button before they unhooked me and before I attempted to get up, and I remember thinking how that would probably not be necessary. Well, I guess I didn't realize how often I pushed my little button, because when 11:00 rolled around, for the second time during this hospital stay, I thought I would not make it through the day. I got up to find lots of blood, which really scared me, but everyone reassured me was completely normal. Then as I tried to eat before my shower, I discovered I couldn't keep anything down, which is REALLY fun when you have stitches and staples in the muscles of your stomach that you use for many things but just don't realize it. Not only did they have to cut me across my stomach, but Ella got stuck so they also had to make a vertical cut in my uterus. Super fun.

I finally made it to the shower, and then I was faced with the task of changing rooms. Even though my sweet family did all the work, I felt so overwhelmed, and I began to be overcome with emotion. Plus, I had not even laid eyes on my daughter.

We got moved, and then I went to meet my sweet Ella. I did not know how much I loved her until I saw her. I came back to my room to find some friends and family who had come to visit, and they provided a much needed distraction from the pain, and the fact that our baby girl was what felt like miles away hooked up to a bunch of machines. When my sweet company left, my sweet mother was left to take care of me. I know I have said this before, but I could not have made it here without her, my daddy, and Jason. My mother has been here to carry me around in the wheelchair, listen to me, cry with me...and she has never once complained. Not once. I am amazed at her strength and love, and again, I thank the Lord above for such a special woman as my mother. I hope I can be half of the mother she is.

As I was crying through the pain with my stomach feeling like a watermelon, she assured me that I would be better every day that passed. After an exhausting day for her, she went to stay down the hill at the Ronald McDonald house. We were fortunate enough to be able to reserve a room there (another blessing from God), and until I get out of the hospital, a family member has to stay there or we will lose our spot. I have not been there yet, but my mother and Jason say it is amazing. I am so thankful we will be able to stay close to Ella without the costs of hotel fees. I will also be forever thankful to whatever genius came up with this idea.

Last night, Jason stayed at the hospital with me and, of course, got no rest, as he had to wake up and help me walk to the bathroom, which proved to be a long and daunting task. When you wake up at 2:30 in the morning to go to work, every moment of sleep lost is huge. Again, what would I do without him? About 12:30 last night, I was overcome with emotion (and hormones?) and became almost hysterical thinking of Ella, which, again is not ideal with a stapled stomach. My wonderful nurse came and got me, though, and we went to see my baby girl for about an hour in the middle of the night. I have been so surprised at how much I have been crying over Ella. Afterall, Jesus has blessed us by watching over her from the moment she arrived. She has, so far, had to have no medications, or even oxygen, which is not always the case with premie babies. Her breathing has been fine, and all of her nurses assure us she is doing wonderful. Still, there are moments when I am consumed with the fact that she is so little and helpless, and there are times I find myself begging the Lord to take care of her, to make her healthier and stronger and to keep her safe. My faith is in Him alone, but Satan uses quiet moments to instill doubt and fear deep in my heart. Please be in prayer about that.

Still, today has been much better. My pain has been decreasing, and my mood has been improving. Mother and I visited baby Ella in the NICU unit today, and she is doing very well. She has lost a little weight, which is to be expected, but other than that she is pretty and perfect. To us anyway. When Jason got here after work, we went back to see her, and I got pretty upset again. I am feeling better now after some prayer and comfort from J and my awesome nurses. I hope things continue to get even better and better as the days pass. I can't wait to start our new life with our little girl, and I can't wait for all you who have prayed so hard and kept us in your thoughts to meet her! Please keep praying for me and my family. I know we have some long days ahead...