SHE IS HERE!!!

I can not believe she is finally here. We wanted to wait a little longer, but the Lord has
His perfect timing. The past couple of days have been really hard, but I thought I would share with you the events that led up to the arrival of our little, tiny miracle.

Monday I began to have the feeling that something wasn't right. Nothing had changed physically, but I had a feeling I could not explain. I woke up Monday morning determined to take a shower because I felt like it might be the last chance I would have before she was born. Little did I know that I would be right. Again, I absolutely can not explain it, except to say that I do feel like the Lord sometimes uses those feelings to prepare us for what lies ahead.

Monday Ella's ultrasound was fine, except she did not practice breathing, which is not uncommon in her age (plus all the meds I was taking), but then her heart rate started to dip some during the day. It had happened before, but, again, I just felt like things were different. My doctors put me on continuous monitoring, and gave me another ultrasound that night, which was fine except, again, she would not practice breathing. I called Jason (who was planning to go to Andalusia that night), and convinced he and my Daddy to come spend the night Monday night. Hurricane Ida was set to hit the coast, and there was talk of closing the bridge in Pensacola. I really wanted Daddy and J to be with me and Mama when she was born, and I felt like I wasn't sure if I would make it through the night without delivering Ella. So, they came. But, Monday night passed and still no baby.

Tuesday I woke up with that same weird feeling, and my sweet nurse told me that Ella's heart rate had still been dipping through the night. I asked her if she thought that I would deliver Ella. Though she wasn't saying much, I could tell she was nervous, and she paged one of the resident doctors who came in my room and told me my anxiety was getting the best of me, that I should think positive thoughts and that we would see how my ultrasound went that day. Five minutes later, Dr. Doback, one of the two main doctors handling my case, came in and did an ultrasound, and could not get Ella to move. He said we had one hour, and that I needed to get my Daddy and Jason here right away. From that point, things moved very quickly, and I got to see Jason walking through the door as Dr. Doback was wheeling me into the operating room. He was not allowed to come in with me because since I had back surgery, they weren't sure an epidural would take, so they decided to put me under general anesthesia. Since my delivery, I have learned that Dr. Doback does not usually go into surgery with his patients, and Jason and I have discussed how much that meant to us that he was with me. We feel like that is just another way the Lord was looking out for me and Ella, and we believe Dr. Doback is a gift to us from God. We're not sure if it's just because he loves the Tide like J, or what, but whatever the reason he chose to be with us, we are very greatful, and I feel like he is the reason things went as well as they did. So thank you, Dr. Doback...you are forever in our hearts and lives.

Looking back, I am really thankful that I was, in a way, prepared, as it made seem things less scary. Of course the rest of Tuesday is a huge blur, and I was completely out of it the rest of the day. I vaguely remember people who visited, and bits and pieces of conversations. It was only today that I remembered Jason bought me a necklace with Ella's birthstone that day, and he also bought her a tiny ring with hearts and her birthstone. He wanted us both to have something special to celebrate her birth. Did I tell you I have the best husband ever?

Yesterday I woke up thinking what a breeze my C-section had been, and how I was not even in pain. What I didn't realize was that I had an IV hooked up with medication that they later told me was 13 times stronger than Morphine, and all I had to do was push a little button to receive the meds, and that I could get a dose of it as often as every six minutes. One of my great resident doctors came by and told me that they would be unhooking that and the magnesium drip at 11:00 yesterday morning. I remember her telling me to hit the button before they unhooked me and before I attempted to get up, and I remember thinking how that would probably not be necessary. Well, I guess I didn't realize how often I pushed my little button, because when 11:00 rolled around, for the second time during this hospital stay, I thought I would not make it through the day. I got up to find lots of blood, which really scared me, but everyone reassured me was completely normal. Then as I tried to eat before my shower, I discovered I couldn't keep anything down, which is REALLY fun when you have stitches and staples in the muscles of your stomach that you use for many things but just don't realize it. Not only did they have to cut me across my stomach, but Ella got stuck so they also had to make a vertical cut in my uterus. Super fun.

I finally made it to the shower, and then I was faced with the task of changing rooms. Even though my sweet family did all the work, I felt so overwhelmed, and I began to be overcome with emotion. Plus, I had not even laid eyes on my daughter.

We got moved, and then I went to meet my sweet Ella. I did not know how much I loved her until I saw her. I came back to my room to find some friends and family who had come to visit, and they provided a much needed distraction from the pain, and the fact that our baby girl was what felt like miles away hooked up to a bunch of machines. When my sweet company left, my sweet mother was left to take care of me. I know I have said this before, but I could not have made it here without her, my daddy, and Jason. My mother has been here to carry me around in the wheelchair, listen to me, cry with me...and she has never once complained. Not once. I am amazed at her strength and love, and again, I thank the Lord above for such a special woman as my mother. I hope I can be half of the mother she is.

As I was crying through the pain with my stomach feeling like a watermelon, she assured me that I would be better every day that passed. After an exhausting day for her, she went to stay down the hill at the Ronald McDonald house. We were fortunate enough to be able to reserve a room there (another blessing from God), and until I get out of the hospital, a family member has to stay there or we will lose our spot. I have not been there yet, but my mother and Jason say it is amazing. I am so thankful we will be able to stay close to Ella without the costs of hotel fees. I will also be forever thankful to whatever genius came up with this idea.

Last night, Jason stayed at the hospital with me and, of course, got no rest, as he had to wake up and help me walk to the bathroom, which proved to be a long and daunting task. When you wake up at 2:30 in the morning to go to work, every moment of sleep lost is huge. Again, what would I do without him? About 12:30 last night, I was overcome with emotion (and hormones?) and became almost hysterical thinking of Ella, which, again is not ideal with a stapled stomach. My wonderful nurse came and got me, though, and we went to see my baby girl for about an hour in the middle of the night. I have been so surprised at how much I have been crying over Ella. Afterall, Jesus has blessed us by watching over her from the moment she arrived. She has, so far, had to have no medications, or even oxygen, which is not always the case with premie babies. Her breathing has been fine, and all of her nurses assure us she is doing wonderful. Still, there are moments when I am consumed with the fact that she is so little and helpless, and there are times I find myself begging the Lord to take care of her, to make her healthier and stronger and to keep her safe. My faith is in Him alone, but Satan uses quiet moments to instill doubt and fear deep in my heart. Please be in prayer about that.

Still, today has been much better. My pain has been decreasing, and my mood has been improving. Mother and I visited baby Ella in the NICU unit today, and she is doing very well. She has lost a little weight, which is to be expected, but other than that she is pretty and perfect. To us anyway. When Jason got here after work, we went back to see her, and I got pretty upset again. I am feeling better now after some prayer and comfort from J and my awesome nurses. I hope things continue to get even better and better as the days pass. I can't wait to start our new life with our little girl, and I can't wait for all you who have prayed so hard and kept us in your thoughts to meet her! Please keep praying for me and my family. I know we have some long days ahead...

Ella Charles

One more picture of our sweet girl!!

Ella Charles is Here!!

Hey guys! This is Lori... the only people that can see Ella Charles is Jason right now and then they are going to let the grandparents see here but that's all for a while. She will definately be in the hospital for 5 weeks at the best so she'll be here for a while.

She weighed 2 lbs. 11 oz. and is 15 inches long and BEAUTIFUL!! Here are our first pictures that Jay took for us. So, enjoy!! Mother and baby are still doing well!

11 days?

Today has been a good day. Other than those fleeting moments of worry and wonder, I woke up surprisingly overwhelmed with a confident peace that the Lord was taking care of things. And once again, He has.

As you may know, we, along with the doctors, have set a goal of Nov. 16 for Ella's birthday. Earlier this week, I asked Dr. Thorp if Nov. 15 came around, and things were still good, then what? He said if I made it to next week, we would revisit that question then. We know that the docs. know best, and we don't want to push too far, but we (J especially) don't want to short ourselves or our daughter on time. Again, we are praying every day for more and more time, as that will be less time she has to be in the hospital. It's funny how much my point of view has changed lately. I feel so blessed with each passing day, and just thank our Father above that I am still here. My nurse and I were discussing today just how sick I was when I came here (AND HAD NO IDEA), and as I've said before both of my docs. have said they both thought I would have delivered by now. They weighed me the other day, and I have lost 21 pounds since I have been here. Just fluid. I am truly, truly amazed at how far I have come, and I shudder to think of what could have happened had I not been transferred from Dothan that night. Tomorrow will be one month exactly. The days do seem to be passing faster, but I guess it's because my days are full of lots of sleeping. I can tell my poor mother is wearing down, as HER days are filled with crossword puzzles, reading, and walks through the courtyard. I can not imagine being here without her.

The itching is MUCH better, so thanks for all the prayers about that. My bp is still kind of all over the place, but just not as high as it was before. They are discussing changing my meds a little, and that is scary because I never know how my system will take even a minor adjustment in medication. Please be in prayer about that. I am also praying that Ella will arrive healthy and strong, and that the docs. will be amazed at how well she is. Ultimately, I will say again, we realize she is in the Lord's hands, and He loves her more than we do. I really never knew you could love someone so much when you haven't even met them!

Dr. Thorp just came in and said my strips (where they monitor her heartbeat three times a day for an hour) looked better today than he has seen them, and that today is the first day in several weeks that the bloodflow through the umbilical cord was not absent, which is good. Though my fluid was a little lower yesterday, it was back up today, and everything is looking great. She's been moving a lot, which he says is the most important indication of how things are going. Before he left my room, he said "Nov. 16, right?" I just laughed and told him we would talk about that next week. He said he is usually pushing patients to go further, not the other way around. He said he has never had a patient push him before. Well, we just believe God is doing amazing things every day, and we have much faith that He will continue to work miracles. We give Him the glory in everything, and we continue to thank you for your support and your prayers. As one of my favorite (resident) docs. said to me the other day, "It ain't as long as it has been..." This will all be over soon, and I pray that one day Ella can use this story to speak of God's amazing love and faithfulness. I know Jason and I will. We will never be the same, and really I am excited about how the Lord will use our story for His kingdom. We will see...

We made it to November!

Another day has passed, and the Lord has continued to bless us. It has been kind of rough today, but tomorrow is a new morning.

I started the day late as my sweet nurse let me sleep in. But that meant taking my meds later than usual so when it was time for my ultrasound little Ella was very sleepy, which was scary for a minute there because they like to see LOTS of movement during the u/s. The techs, I assume, don't work on the weekends, so Dr. Doback himself performed my u/s today. He is a second specialist who works alongside Dr. Thorp on cases such as mine. He was FINALLY able to get Ella to move and practice breathing (another requirement), and so we passed. He said we are good at least until tomorrow. We are still praying tomorrow brings another tomorrow. Dr. Doback also said that there is a slight problem with the bloodflow through the umbilical cord (we have known this from the beginning), and that it will not be anything serious enough to make me deliver, UNLESS the bloodflow reverses. So, we are praying against that.

My rash is about the same, and I swear I think it may drive me to madness. However, I think I mentioned they prescribed a new medication yesterday that they use for people who are having probs. with their gallbladder. I am praying it helps, and that or the hydrocortisone cream DOES seem to be working. Maybe it will continue to get better.

The finger-pricking is getting really old really fast. The nurse says they use "industrial size"meter, and, I know, in the grand scheme of things this should not be a big deal, but my fingers are sore, and nothing seems to be happening. The nurse asked one of my docs. about it tonight, and he said he just assumed I was diabetic. Well, no. So, in the morning, I will have an official glucose test to make sure I don't have gestational diabetes. I am praying that goes well because ice cream and candy bars make my stay a little more pleasant.

I have been crying lots today. It started with a long talk with my nurse about the NICU unit this morning. Then I just sort of became overwhelmed. Borrowing trouble again, I guess. I am just missing my pets, and am sad because my little dog, Happy, is just not adjusting well. He will hardly eat, and has an eye infection from a scratch (I'm thinking I know who is the source of that...), and his eye is not getting better because he is crying so much. I have seen him twice since I have been here, and he just makes me sad that I can't be there to take care of him. Again, this may seem trivial to many of you, but if you have ever had a pet that you loved, you know what I mean. And it's just another reminder that I am away from my home. I feel consumed by so many things. I am wondering how we are going to get our house ready for Ella...I am scared at how long she will have to be in the hospital and what she will look like (so little and helpless, I mean)...I am nervous about not knowing if we can wait a little longer...I am sad that I can't be at home...Don't get me wrong; I KNOW how blessed I am and how much our Father is watching out for us...it's just these brief periods of darkness that are SO hard to take. I don't know how people face anything without the Lord. I don't. I am so thankful that we can lean on Him and depend on Him. Jason reminds me every day that we are in Jesus' hands, and how much He loves our child. I would not have made it this far without prayers and my family. My parents and Jason have been so amazing through this. Lots of people have and, again, we thank you. Please pray that we (I) can continue to focus on our many blessings.

Day by Day

Things have been good today. One of my sweet Dr.s who reassures me by his calming presence, told me that everything was looking even better today, in regards to the ultrasounds and monitors. However, several new but minor complications seem to be arising. The rash is worse and they decided to try an anxiety medicine to maybe help stop the itching. It completely knocks me out, but works like a charm. However, since yesterday I have been having a couple of low bps. Today I had one that was like 104/49 which they say is completely unacceptable and harmful to the baby since she is used to thriving on high pressures. The docs. are completely puzzled about the situation, but for now I have decided I will just itch. It is not worth delivering our child for a little relief. Relief for me will come soon enough. They have also decided to test my liver and gallbladder, as they say sometimes they do not function properly during pregnancy, which could be the source of the rash. PLUS, my glucose levels have been elevated during my labs, so now I get a finger prick after every meal, which may lead to ANOTHER shot every day of insulin. I actually am becoming quite the champ, I think, between the IV's, blood tests, and shots. I would never have thought I could do it...I used to cry when I had to get my blood drawn! It's amazing at the strength that comes, and what you can go through. I just keep thinking of how much bigger and stronger she is becoming, and with the Lord's help, November 16 will be here before we know it. Right now, Ella weighs 2 lbs and 14 oz, and if she can stay on track, she should weigh almost 4 lbs. when she gets here. Please continue to lift us up in prayer. God is doing amazing things here daily, and I thank each of you.

I was thinking tonight of what I would normally post about this time of year. It would have to be the overwhelming beauty of the fall...the crisp in the air. There are so many fun things I am missing out on like the fair and the fall festival at our church. But next year...I have been outside 2 times since I have been here (in a wheelchair at that) but both days were cool and windy. I love the fall! It seems fresh and hopeful.

I feel like my posts are always so serious, so I have decided to do a post inspired by an e-mail that Lori sent me a while back. I know this is a long post, but this will make me feel semi-normal instead of like I am trapped here in the hospital (and am praying to continue to be for a while.)

So...

25 Random Things About Me:

1)I LOVE to write. (Can you tell?) I have written several children's books, and hope to one day have them published. I like to think of special children in my life, and write books for them. I wrote one for Jack for his birthday (called "Uncle Tractor" about him and my Daddy), and I wrote one about a sister pig with Tara's Piper in mind. (Tara loves pigs.)

2)The Umpa Lumpas terrify me. (You know from "Willy Wonka"...) Clowns freak me out too. And there's this movie (NOT A CHILDREN'S MOVIE) that we watched as children called "Return to Oz"...There are scary people in it with squeaky wheels for hands and feet, (called "The Wheelers") and they chase kids...SO SCARY...Also, spiders. HATE spiders.

3)When I was a child, I had a blanket that I rubbed over my lips and through my fingers until it literally was a small thread. Even now, when I am anxious or nervous I catch myself rubbing my shirt tail with my fingers.

4)I was adopted at 3 months old to the best parents EVER. My mother has always told me that if she had birthed a child it would have been me because the Lord put us together as a family.

5)I am TERRIBLE at sports. All of them. Except bowling. (Is that a sport?) I was actually on a bowling league and did pretty well. So was Jason. We quit it because it was on Sunday nights, and we missed going to church.

6)There are only 7 people/groups that I have, as long as I can remember, said I would see in concert before I die, and I have seen 4 out of 7 of them. (Elton John, John Mayer-LOVED him for a while before he started talking instead of singing, Stone Temple Pilots, and Train.) The three left are Sting, Dave Matthews, (MY FAV.) and Aerosmith. I have also seen Gary Allen, George Jones, John Conley, Disturbed, Fuel, Maroon 5, Five for Fighting, Ray Boltz, an awesome concert comprised of several Christian singers (think the lead singer from Third Day), and several others I'm sure I am forgetting. Each one has been different and awesome, but it's hard to beat Elton with just a piano for 3 hours.

7)Jason was my best friend in high school, and I would have never dated him then. I met him when I went to Andalusia High School (for one year), and we even had a notebook we wrote in and passed back and forth in English. I still have it! One day I was going to be out of school (I think it may have been my birthday...) and just to kid him, I told Jason I was having my tonsils removed. Well, he went to the hospital, and even brought me a little puppy as a get well present! I felt TERRIBLE! That turned out to be Jason's favorite dog he ever had,though! And look what God had planned!

8)I have two dogs and a cat. My cat, Maisy, is beautiful with long gray hair and green eyes. Jason got her for me Christmas 2001, after I had moved home from Auburn. I had a cat that I brought home with me that got outside,and my big bulldog, Pup, killed it. Maisy was a replacement, and she is the best cat ever. She is definitely not a people cat (most people that come over don't even know we have her), and she hates the dogs. If they get close to her when they walk by, she slaps them, and sometimes draws blood from their nose or their ear-whatever she catches. Sometimes sweet little Happy will be asleep at the end of the bed, and she will jump up and start to chase him, knives ready. He is terrified of her. So is Tip.

9)Happy (my little white poodle mix) I found 3 months after we got married at my cousin Kelley's house. We drove around the neighborhood all afternoon looking for his home. We finally found where he lived at the man acted like he didn't even want him. He told me I could have him. I left him, though, and cried all night. I called him the next day, and he told me to come get him. So, I did. Kelley told me I should have named him "Circles" because he turns a million circles a day. He is really smart (he knows to speak, say please (yes, he does them differently), throw and catch his toys. In other ways, he's really dumb...he will not walk by anything that is on the floor; he will just stand there and cry for hours until you pick him up. He is also terrified of plastic bags, and any noise a dish in the sink may make.

10)Tip was an anniversary present for J. I regretted it so much at first because he tore my house to pieces. Now, he has my heart. He will go outside when we have the baby, and that will be a big adjustment for him (and his daddy.)

11)My favorite movies are "Serendipity" and "You've Got Mail". Such a girl, right? Best drama if you need a good cry-"The War" with Kevin Costner.

12)The funniest show that I have EVER seen is "The Office." You may have to watch it a couple of times to catch the humor, but it is addictive. My other all time favorite shows are "The Gilmore Girls" and, yes, "Gilligan's Island."

13)Christmas is my favorite time of the year, and I try to watch a Christmas movie every day in
December, which my husband loves.

14)I once rode in a hot-air balloon over the desert in Arizona. It was amazing.

15)I love to fly and travel, and hope to continue to do lots of both.

16)Jason proposed to me under a big tree at our church after we had a big fight.

17)I am severely allergic to seafood. We went with Tara and Timmy to a Japanese Steakhouse a couple of years ago for my birthday. They kept the shrimp separate but used the same spatula and I had to stop 4 times on the way home because I was so sick. It seems to get progressively worse as I get older.

18)The best lasagna I've ever had was in Ecuador.

19)The worst food I've ever had was in Ecuador.

20)I love rainy days and Italian food.

21)I do not understand how to use E-Bay. It confuses me.

22)I hope to finish school and teach one day.

23)I have a scar on my knee from when I fell on the tennis courts in the 6th grade. I remember I was so upset because I messed up my favorite pair of jeans.

24)I was a cheerleader in highschool, and in the LBW Ensemble in college. I absolutely loved both, but could never imagine myself doing either in the present day.

25)My first car was a turquoise blue Lumina that we referred to as the Luminator. I used to take it mud-riding, and pack as many people as would possibly fit in there. My parents would get SO mad.

So, there you go. A few random things about me. Will post more soon, and try to be shorter next time.

Still pregnant...

29 weeks and counting. The original goal here for us was 33 weeks, and we are managing to push closer every day. Yesterday, Dr. Thorp ordered me to have an ultrasound every day instead of every other day, so this morning I woke up pretty anxious knowing what was ahead. I have some of my favorite scriptures posted in front of my bed, so when I feel overwhelmed, I look up and try to focus on Jesus and His promises. Jason (my other constant source of strength) reminds me that Jesus loves our little girl even more than we do, and that He has His perfect timing. I know he's right, and we have experienced that first hand several times, as there has been more than one occasion that different doctors have told me they expected me to deliver already.

I know the Lord does have His perfect timing, but I also think He listens to the prayers of His children, and we are continuing to pray daily for Ella to stay with me a little longer. As a matter of fact, J and I set a personal goal of November 16. That will be the Monday after I am 32 weeks. (I will be 33 weeks the next Saturday, and my doc. has already told me, and continues to tell me, he will not let me go over 33 weeks.) Anyway, I told Dr. Thorp this morning about November 16, and he told the nurse to go ahead and schedule my C-section for that day. I was so surprised! But now that is the new plan. Unless something begins to change for the worst, Ella will be born November 16. The fact that he so quickly agreed to the date, reassured me, and made me feel like that is something that he thinks is obtainable. Again, there are several factors that affect this decision, so we still need lots of prayer every day. Two verses that have come to mean a lot to me this week are Matthew 17:20 (faith like a mustard seed) and Ephesians 3:20,21 which speaks of how the Lord is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine. I am receiving nothing from this experience, if not a lesson in the power of prayer and faith. Again, I am thankful, too that His mercies are new every morning.

Thank you all so much for the prayers, gifts, cards, and comments on my blog. Some of you I have not spoken with in years, and I am thankful that you took the time to show your love and support.

Brittany, thanks for the tip on the water...something is working (prayer, I know), and I want you to know I prayed for you and your baby too.

Shelley, just to let you know...these nurses here are amazing, and EVERY one of them talks about how they love and miss you. I hope you have a wonderful honeymoon.

To all of you at Hopewell, I hope the fall festival is amazing tomorrow night, and I wish I could be there to help. Next year, Ella and I will be there with bells on.

They just gave me something for this horrible itching, and though it seems to be working, I am getting extremely sleepy, and I didn't sleep at all last night. I know I have mentioned that some of these meds. give me horrible nightmares, so I almost kindof dread going to sleep. I try to get naps during the day, and now is the time. Will post more soon...