Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I AM PREGNANT!!!!!

Can you believe it? We absolutely can not! To understand how awesome our Lord is (though the fact that I'm pregnant is evidence enough), I have to start back in August of 2006. Lori and Ben had just found out they were expecting (another miracle, as they anticipated a little trouble.) I remember being so excited for them. I loved watching Lori change and grow, and of course when Baby Jack was finally here...well you know the rest. I fell in love with him instantly. Jason and I began to talk about trying to have a baby. Well, I vividly remember praying together and asking the Lord to bless us with a child, but in His timing. The days passed then weeks...Next, we found out that my best friend, Tara was pregnant with Sweet Piper. Of course we were thrilled, and we couldn't wait for it to be our turn. After a minor surgery and several trips to the doctor,though, we discovered I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. So there it was...a valid reason we would have an extremely hard time starting a family. Jason and I just continued to pray and (TRIED) to be patient.

The beginning of this year was different for me. I started the year off really inspired and fired up for Jesus. For some reason, I felt like this would be the year of change for me and my family. And (as you may remember), Jeremiah 29:11 had been written across my heart since January 1. But, a couple of months ago, Jason and I began to throw around the idea of maybe taking steps toward fertility by this summer if I wasn't pregnant by then. To be quite honest, I did not have a peace about that, but let's face it, 29 is upon me! I have been really discouraged, and felt my spirit was breaking over the past couple of months. I began to wonder if we would ever have a child. Jason recently told me that he had accepted that it might just be me and him, and that he felt a peace about that. I am thankful for such a sweet and wonderful husband.

Two weeks ago, I went to a women's conference in Pensacola. I didn't even want to go, but Lori talked me into it, and I'm so glad she did. The conference was about being real. I had such a powerful experience! The Lord gave me a new perspective about so many things! All of the speakers were wonderful, but one in particular really touched my heart. She spoke on the story of the woman at the well in a fresh and different way. She talked about how that woman would have missed out on Jesus had she assumed that He was like all the other men in her life. One of her points was that just because something turned out one way before, that doesn't mean that the same thing will happen next time. She said, "Remember... THIS does not mean THAT." Wow. It was like God was saying, "Remember who I am...stop doubting Me; My mercies are new every morning." I began to pour out my soul to the Lord. As many of the speakers told stories of being mothers, I just cried out to the Lord. I realized it was time to be real with Him. All weekend, I prayed about Jason and I having a baby, and serving our Savior as a family. I came back refreshed and touched by Jesus. That Sunday afternoon, I was feeling a little different (and extremely tired), so I decided to take a pregnancy test. It was negative. But, I was determined not to be upset, and I just felt a peace come over me. That night in church, we talked about the highlights of our weekend at the conference. I said "One of the main things that God spoke to me this weekend was to stop underestimating Him because He is full of wonder and surprises."

So, I am still pumped up all week from my mountaintop experience, and Thursday morning, as I'm getting ready for work, I just happen to glance over in our garbage can at the pregnancy test that I took on Sunday, and what do I see? Two lines. Positive. (Remember, it was negative on Sunday!) So, I think, well that's weird, and I take another one. Positive. I am freaking out at this point. I rush to Lori's (at 7:00 in the morning), and I'm like, "Do you see this? Is this right?" Of course, she does and I race to work with a million thoughts in my mind. As soon as my doctor's office opens, I am on the phone asking them to squeeze me in. I hurry over, take a test. Positive. I go to Dr. Well's office, and he estimates that I am maybe 5 weeks or so, and that I'm due in January 2010! Well, I go back to work (floating, I think, or at least that's how I feel) and tell them I'm leaving for the day because I have to go to Brewton Alabama to find my precious husband, who I must say could have been knocked down by a feather upon the arrival of our happy news! Then I told my Daddy (who works with Jason), and he simply replied, "It's about time" but then when I told him our due date he said "That's next year!" Well, yeah, Daddy it doesn't happen overnight. (Uncle Jack, Lori's daddy who ALSO works at TR Miller later told me that Daddy called him over to his department, bursting at the seams with pride right after I left!) I raced home to tell my mother who proceeded to jump up and down and scream, and of course, Jason's parents were equally as elated. And there you have it...I'M PREGNANT!

Since our announcement, I have had so many special friends and family members tell me how much they were praying for us. A BIG THANK YOU! The Lord answers prayers, as I have always known, but this is just His latest bit of love and grace for our family. I truly feel that He honored our trust, patience, and obedience. As hard as it was, it was worth it. I GIVE HIM ALL THE GLORY. The Bible says He is the giver of all good gifts, and this would have to be the best one J and I could ever receive as a family.

Please continue to pray for our health. So far, I have been REALLY tired, but not sick at all. I would love for that to continue. Also, I am scheduled to go on a mission trip to Ecuador in June for the purpose of prayer walking. I feel that our Father called me to go, and He knew I would be pregnant all the time! I trust Him, and unless my doctor says I can't go, plans are unchanged. Please be in prayer for our health and safety for me and the baby, as well as our whole team, and that we would accomplish all we are supposed to. Pray for Jason and I, as well as my family. We have lots of changes to make (my mother is desperately trying to quit smoking) and we need supernatural strength, power, and wisdom.

I will end for now (I know you are all thinking you would wish I would write more...) My first ultrasound and meeting with my new doctor (he had better be as good as you say he is, Lori and Tara) is next Wednesday in Dothan. I look forward to posting more about the little Fore soon...:)