We made it to November!

Another day has passed, and the Lord has continued to bless us. It has been kind of rough today, but tomorrow is a new morning.

I started the day late as my sweet nurse let me sleep in. But that meant taking my meds later than usual so when it was time for my ultrasound little Ella was very sleepy, which was scary for a minute there because they like to see LOTS of movement during the u/s. The techs, I assume, don't work on the weekends, so Dr. Doback himself performed my u/s today. He is a second specialist who works alongside Dr. Thorp on cases such as mine. He was FINALLY able to get Ella to move and practice breathing (another requirement), and so we passed. He said we are good at least until tomorrow. We are still praying tomorrow brings another tomorrow. Dr. Doback also said that there is a slight problem with the bloodflow through the umbilical cord (we have known this from the beginning), and that it will not be anything serious enough to make me deliver, UNLESS the bloodflow reverses. So, we are praying against that.

My rash is about the same, and I swear I think it may drive me to madness. However, I think I mentioned they prescribed a new medication yesterday that they use for people who are having probs. with their gallbladder. I am praying it helps, and that or the hydrocortisone cream DOES seem to be working. Maybe it will continue to get better.

The finger-pricking is getting really old really fast. The nurse says they use "industrial size"meter, and, I know, in the grand scheme of things this should not be a big deal, but my fingers are sore, and nothing seems to be happening. The nurse asked one of my docs. about it tonight, and he said he just assumed I was diabetic. Well, no. So, in the morning, I will have an official glucose test to make sure I don't have gestational diabetes. I am praying that goes well because ice cream and candy bars make my stay a little more pleasant.

I have been crying lots today. It started with a long talk with my nurse about the NICU unit this morning. Then I just sort of became overwhelmed. Borrowing trouble again, I guess. I am just missing my pets, and am sad because my little dog, Happy, is just not adjusting well. He will hardly eat, and has an eye infection from a scratch (I'm thinking I know who is the source of that...), and his eye is not getting better because he is crying so much. I have seen him twice since I have been here, and he just makes me sad that I can't be there to take care of him. Again, this may seem trivial to many of you, but if you have ever had a pet that you loved, you know what I mean. And it's just another reminder that I am away from my home. I feel consumed by so many things. I am wondering how we are going to get our house ready for Ella...I am scared at how long she will have to be in the hospital and what she will look like (so little and helpless, I mean)...I am nervous about not knowing if we can wait a little longer...I am sad that I can't be at home...Don't get me wrong; I KNOW how blessed I am and how much our Father is watching out for us...it's just these brief periods of darkness that are SO hard to take. I don't know how people face anything without the Lord. I don't. I am so thankful that we can lean on Him and depend on Him. Jason reminds me every day that we are in Jesus' hands, and how much He loves our child. I would not have made it this far without prayers and my family. My parents and Jason have been so amazing through this. Lots of people have and, again, we thank you. Please pray that we (I) can continue to focus on our many blessings.

Day by Day

Things have been good today. One of my sweet Dr.s who reassures me by his calming presence, told me that everything was looking even better today, in regards to the ultrasounds and monitors. However, several new but minor complications seem to be arising. The rash is worse and they decided to try an anxiety medicine to maybe help stop the itching. It completely knocks me out, but works like a charm. However, since yesterday I have been having a couple of low bps. Today I had one that was like 104/49 which they say is completely unacceptable and harmful to the baby since she is used to thriving on high pressures. The docs. are completely puzzled about the situation, but for now I have decided I will just itch. It is not worth delivering our child for a little relief. Relief for me will come soon enough. They have also decided to test my liver and gallbladder, as they say sometimes they do not function properly during pregnancy, which could be the source of the rash. PLUS, my glucose levels have been elevated during my labs, so now I get a finger prick after every meal, which may lead to ANOTHER shot every day of insulin. I actually am becoming quite the champ, I think, between the IV's, blood tests, and shots. I would never have thought I could do it...I used to cry when I had to get my blood drawn! It's amazing at the strength that comes, and what you can go through. I just keep thinking of how much bigger and stronger she is becoming, and with the Lord's help, November 16 will be here before we know it. Right now, Ella weighs 2 lbs and 14 oz, and if she can stay on track, she should weigh almost 4 lbs. when she gets here. Please continue to lift us up in prayer. God is doing amazing things here daily, and I thank each of you.

I was thinking tonight of what I would normally post about this time of year. It would have to be the overwhelming beauty of the fall...the crisp in the air. There are so many fun things I am missing out on like the fair and the fall festival at our church. But next year...I have been outside 2 times since I have been here (in a wheelchair at that) but both days were cool and windy. I love the fall! It seems fresh and hopeful.

I feel like my posts are always so serious, so I have decided to do a post inspired by an e-mail that Lori sent me a while back. I know this is a long post, but this will make me feel semi-normal instead of like I am trapped here in the hospital (and am praying to continue to be for a while.)

So...

25 Random Things About Me:

1)I LOVE to write. (Can you tell?) I have written several children's books, and hope to one day have them published. I like to think of special children in my life, and write books for them. I wrote one for Jack for his birthday (called "Uncle Tractor" about him and my Daddy), and I wrote one about a sister pig with Tara's Piper in mind. (Tara loves pigs.)

2)The Umpa Lumpas terrify me. (You know from "Willy Wonka"...) Clowns freak me out too. And there's this movie (NOT A CHILDREN'S MOVIE) that we watched as children called "Return to Oz"...There are scary people in it with squeaky wheels for hands and feet, (called "The Wheelers") and they chase kids...SO SCARY...Also, spiders. HATE spiders.

3)When I was a child, I had a blanket that I rubbed over my lips and through my fingers until it literally was a small thread. Even now, when I am anxious or nervous I catch myself rubbing my shirt tail with my fingers.

4)I was adopted at 3 months old to the best parents EVER. My mother has always told me that if she had birthed a child it would have been me because the Lord put us together as a family.

5)I am TERRIBLE at sports. All of them. Except bowling. (Is that a sport?) I was actually on a bowling league and did pretty well. So was Jason. We quit it because it was on Sunday nights, and we missed going to church.

6)There are only 7 people/groups that I have, as long as I can remember, said I would see in concert before I die, and I have seen 4 out of 7 of them. (Elton John, John Mayer-LOVED him for a while before he started talking instead of singing, Stone Temple Pilots, and Train.) The three left are Sting, Dave Matthews, (MY FAV.) and Aerosmith. I have also seen Gary Allen, George Jones, John Conley, Disturbed, Fuel, Maroon 5, Five for Fighting, Ray Boltz, an awesome concert comprised of several Christian singers (think the lead singer from Third Day), and several others I'm sure I am forgetting. Each one has been different and awesome, but it's hard to beat Elton with just a piano for 3 hours.

7)Jason was my best friend in high school, and I would have never dated him then. I met him when I went to Andalusia High School (for one year), and we even had a notebook we wrote in and passed back and forth in English. I still have it! One day I was going to be out of school (I think it may have been my birthday...) and just to kid him, I told Jason I was having my tonsils removed. Well, he went to the hospital, and even brought me a little puppy as a get well present! I felt TERRIBLE! That turned out to be Jason's favorite dog he ever had,though! And look what God had planned!

8)I have two dogs and a cat. My cat, Maisy, is beautiful with long gray hair and green eyes. Jason got her for me Christmas 2001, after I had moved home from Auburn. I had a cat that I brought home with me that got outside,and my big bulldog, Pup, killed it. Maisy was a replacement, and she is the best cat ever. She is definitely not a people cat (most people that come over don't even know we have her), and she hates the dogs. If they get close to her when they walk by, she slaps them, and sometimes draws blood from their nose or their ear-whatever she catches. Sometimes sweet little Happy will be asleep at the end of the bed, and she will jump up and start to chase him, knives ready. He is terrified of her. So is Tip.

9)Happy (my little white poodle mix) I found 3 months after we got married at my cousin Kelley's house. We drove around the neighborhood all afternoon looking for his home. We finally found where he lived at the man acted like he didn't even want him. He told me I could have him. I left him, though, and cried all night. I called him the next day, and he told me to come get him. So, I did. Kelley told me I should have named him "Circles" because he turns a million circles a day. He is really smart (he knows to speak, say please (yes, he does them differently), throw and catch his toys. In other ways, he's really dumb...he will not walk by anything that is on the floor; he will just stand there and cry for hours until you pick him up. He is also terrified of plastic bags, and any noise a dish in the sink may make.

10)Tip was an anniversary present for J. I regretted it so much at first because he tore my house to pieces. Now, he has my heart. He will go outside when we have the baby, and that will be a big adjustment for him (and his daddy.)

11)My favorite movies are "Serendipity" and "You've Got Mail". Such a girl, right? Best drama if you need a good cry-"The War" with Kevin Costner.

12)The funniest show that I have EVER seen is "The Office." You may have to watch it a couple of times to catch the humor, but it is addictive. My other all time favorite shows are "The Gilmore Girls" and, yes, "Gilligan's Island."

13)Christmas is my favorite time of the year, and I try to watch a Christmas movie every day in
December, which my husband loves.

14)I once rode in a hot-air balloon over the desert in Arizona. It was amazing.

15)I love to fly and travel, and hope to continue to do lots of both.

16)Jason proposed to me under a big tree at our church after we had a big fight.

17)I am severely allergic to seafood. We went with Tara and Timmy to a Japanese Steakhouse a couple of years ago for my birthday. They kept the shrimp separate but used the same spatula and I had to stop 4 times on the way home because I was so sick. It seems to get progressively worse as I get older.

18)The best lasagna I've ever had was in Ecuador.

19)The worst food I've ever had was in Ecuador.

20)I love rainy days and Italian food.

21)I do not understand how to use E-Bay. It confuses me.

22)I hope to finish school and teach one day.

23)I have a scar on my knee from when I fell on the tennis courts in the 6th grade. I remember I was so upset because I messed up my favorite pair of jeans.

24)I was a cheerleader in highschool, and in the LBW Ensemble in college. I absolutely loved both, but could never imagine myself doing either in the present day.

25)My first car was a turquoise blue Lumina that we referred to as the Luminator. I used to take it mud-riding, and pack as many people as would possibly fit in there. My parents would get SO mad.

So, there you go. A few random things about me. Will post more soon, and try to be shorter next time.

Still pregnant...

29 weeks and counting. The original goal here for us was 33 weeks, and we are managing to push closer every day. Yesterday, Dr. Thorp ordered me to have an ultrasound every day instead of every other day, so this morning I woke up pretty anxious knowing what was ahead. I have some of my favorite scriptures posted in front of my bed, so when I feel overwhelmed, I look up and try to focus on Jesus and His promises. Jason (my other constant source of strength) reminds me that Jesus loves our little girl even more than we do, and that He has His perfect timing. I know he's right, and we have experienced that first hand several times, as there has been more than one occasion that different doctors have told me they expected me to deliver already.

I know the Lord does have His perfect timing, but I also think He listens to the prayers of His children, and we are continuing to pray daily for Ella to stay with me a little longer. As a matter of fact, J and I set a personal goal of November 16. That will be the Monday after I am 32 weeks. (I will be 33 weeks the next Saturday, and my doc. has already told me, and continues to tell me, he will not let me go over 33 weeks.) Anyway, I told Dr. Thorp this morning about November 16, and he told the nurse to go ahead and schedule my C-section for that day. I was so surprised! But now that is the new plan. Unless something begins to change for the worst, Ella will be born November 16. The fact that he so quickly agreed to the date, reassured me, and made me feel like that is something that he thinks is obtainable. Again, there are several factors that affect this decision, so we still need lots of prayer every day. Two verses that have come to mean a lot to me this week are Matthew 17:20 (faith like a mustard seed) and Ephesians 3:20,21 which speaks of how the Lord is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine. I am receiving nothing from this experience, if not a lesson in the power of prayer and faith. Again, I am thankful, too that His mercies are new every morning.

Thank you all so much for the prayers, gifts, cards, and comments on my blog. Some of you I have not spoken with in years, and I am thankful that you took the time to show your love and support.

Brittany, thanks for the tip on the water...something is working (prayer, I know), and I want you to know I prayed for you and your baby too.

Shelley, just to let you know...these nurses here are amazing, and EVERY one of them talks about how they love and miss you. I hope you have a wonderful honeymoon.

To all of you at Hopewell, I hope the fall festival is amazing tomorrow night, and I wish I could be there to help. Next year, Ella and I will be there with bells on.

They just gave me something for this horrible itching, and though it seems to be working, I am getting extremely sleepy, and I didn't sleep at all last night. I know I have mentioned that some of these meds. give me horrible nightmares, so I almost kindof dread going to sleep. I try to get naps during the day, and now is the time. Will post more soon...

LOTS of prayer requests...

Today is a pretty good day. We made it through this week with no major catastrophes, (kind of a record for Fridays here) and, in the Lord's hands, we just keep on pushing.

My doc. came in this morning with good news, and maybe some not so good news. My protein levels have gone done from a 10 to a 4 since last week (very good thing), and my monitoring and ultrasounds, for the most part look really good. However, the fluid levels surrounding the baby seem to be decreasing every other day. (They know this from the ulrasounds.) Dr. Thorp said this is not something to be overly concerned about, but it does mean we may not make it to 33 weeks. We are still staying positive, and are expecting to make it to our original goal. We will know more about it Monday, and the doc. even said that the levels could be back up Monday. I thought he was joking, but the nurse told me that it's definitely possible, and they have seen it happen before. She also assured me that SEVERAL different factors play in to whether it's time to deliver or not, and it just depends on what they feel will be best for me and the baby at the time. So we will see...

One of my main prayer requests since I have been here is concerning abnormal ultrasounds. Previously, I had two other different areas that were irregular, and, through much prayer, each area has been corrected. I believe in the Lord, and I believe He is able to perform mighty miracles, so we are just praying in the direction that He will correct this problem just as He has several other complications so far. He is so mighty...

Also, my bp was kind of all over the map yesterday. Though my high ones were not extremely high (like 165 or 170-they like to keep it between 140 and 150 for me) I only really had one GOOD reading yesterday. They are not happy about that, and are continuing to limit visitors, AND I actually have had a couple lately that are way too low for me. Thursday I had one that was like 93/68. The Dr. said that is too low for me because the baby is used to much higher pressures, and actually needs those to keep thriving. They were hoping to have me more steady and stable by now, so please pray for that as well.

My spirits have been pretty good lately, and Dr. Thorp told me Thursday that he believed that was a huge reason I haven't delivered. Of course, that made me very happy, and I am trying hard to keep it up for our little girl. Every day she is growing and growing, and she becomes even more real to me, as I feel her wiggle and move lots and lots. I am just am lifting her up to the Father every day, and I ask that he gives me a little more time to keep her growing and growing before she arrives.

Please pray for my sweet mother who has not left Pensacola since I have been here. She won't. She is here with me many nights (or at her aunt's house who conveniently lives about 10 mins. away:), and every day. She is extremely tired and taxed (though she would never say it), and pray for strength and rest for her. Also, pray for her and my Daddy financially. He is busting it 5 days a week from 3:30 in the morning, and spending his weekends here. They have many unexpected expenses from hotel rooms to gas and food. (My mother buys me 3 meals a day so I won't have to eat cafeteria food, plus lots of other little things. For example, she bought me some Halloween streamers to decorate my room so I would feel more at home...greatest mother EVER.)

Pray that my Daddy and Jason would get rest as well. They both go to work so early, and I know my Daddy is lonely without my mother. And Jason spends almost EVERY night here with me. Then he goes home and has to wash clothes, care for our dogs...Again, we couldn't do it without lots of help, but DO please pray for my wonderful family. They are a huge reason I can keep going.

Please pray for my allergies. I have always had really sensitive skin and about 3 days ago, I started itching and clawing like crazy. My Dr. has ruled out the meds (thank you, Jesus), but other than that it is REALLY hard to track down what is causing it. They got me special sheets, but they are not sure WHAT could be the cause, from the laundry detergent to the towels. I am red and super itchy so pray that we could find the source of that.

Despite each of these minor details, I am aware more and more every day of the Lord's presence and His goodness. In a way, I feel kind of lucky to have this kind of extra time to focus on Him, and draw even closer to my precious friends and family. Also, until you experience something like this, you can NEVER understand the amazing love and generosity that people have deep inside. We have been blown away.

Again, thank you all for everything. I can't wait to one day tell Ella how much she was loved on and prayed for even before she was here. Until next time...just keep praying.

Thank You

Well, here I am. Sacred Heart Hospital. I wound up here in a whirl-wind of events, and it seems as though these people have saved my life, as well as given us hope for our daughter. I am praying to the merciful Lord above that Ella can hang in there with her mom for a couple more weeks. Jason brought me my computer, as he knows how I love to blog. I have come to realize he is the sweetest husband ever. I am immensely blessed to have friends and family like you. You have overwhelmed me with your love and kindness, and words can NEVER express how much you all have touched me and my family. You never think you will be the one this kind of stuff happens to, but our Savior provides strength and comfort every day. The verse from Lamentations has been a resounding source of hope, you know the one that promises His mercies are new every morning. He has already been so good to us, and I am hopeful for our bright future. I think He has big plans for our little girl, and He is helping me push through each day. I am having trouble breathing, and I am very weak. Still, God is good all the time. Thank you again for all that you have done. Hope to keep you posted with more good news...

For everything there is a season...

And now's the time for football. You know what that means for me...plenty of time to blog! Yes, computer's still broken. But REALLY long days and nights at Lori's are not fruitless for me!

What could be a better time to blog? Fall is here as well, and it is my the beginnig of my favorite time of the year. The air is fresh and the wind is full of promise. At least that's the way I always feel. There's so many fun things to do and see, and I love the colors, smells, and opportunities that are present from now until the end of December. The cooler weather is always a plus, especially this year when it seems that cooling off is not a possibility for me. Blame it on the hormones, huh?

The pregnancy is going well, thanks to lots of prayers. We've had a couple of scary little incidents, the latest being rising blood pressure and the scare of possible toxemia. The Lord has provided His ever-present protection, and for now, we seem to be on the safe side.

Ella Charles is the name we have chosen for our sweet girl. (Jason gave in to her middle name, explaining to Lori that he was okay with "Charles" because we just wouldn't teach her her middle name...my sweet J...what can I say about him?) We have so much to be thankful for, and catching up on everyone's blog tonight reaffirms those thoughts. Thanks for the reminders on faith and God's goodness. That's something I should focus on more often, and I feel like I would have a much more peaceful life. I am always borrowing trouble from tomorrow, though His Living Word reminds me that He has better things for me! Yet another thing I should focus on...

We have a lot to do to our house before Ella gets here (her nursery is currently full of baseball cards and hunting gear...), and we are running low on time! I am getting anxious, but I know it will work out. I am blessed with a great man who wants the best for his daughter and his wife, and I know he will somehow work it out in between hunting and football!

BY THE WAY, before I forget, there are a couple of you I could not catch up with (Lori G, Tina...)and I would like to. Let me know how.

ALSO, TO ALL OF YOU "FACEBOOKERS"...
I am extremely happy that you found yet another way to connect with the rest of the world, but PLEASE don't forget about blogging. That is the only way I can keep up with everyone, and I admit, I'm not even good at that! I keep hearing how I need to get on facebook myself, but with no consistent internet access, I say what's really the point? Just one more thing I would have to spend hours catching up on!

I hope to become a regular again in the blogging world, but we shall see! As long as there's a game. Until next time...