Peace that surpasses all understanding...

What a week it has been.

As some of you may know, I had a grandmother that I was extremely close to (my dad's mother, Minnie; she was Lori's granny, too). Granny lived with us until I was 6 or 7. I remember the day she moved out... I was DEVASTATED and I felt like I would never see her again. (Though she moved about 1 mile away right next to Lori's parents!) Lori and I stayed with her every day after school, and every summer. She would always make us snacks (like Rice Krispies and peanut butter) and sing us songs. (Among her favorites..."Swing Low, Sweet Chariot"...) She was the best company. Though she could not hear a thing, she could read lips REALLY well. Granny would always "listen" and just offer her shoulder to cry on. And she loved EVERYBODY. All of our many friends would always want to go visit her because she always joked and laughed with us all. We would go to her house and we literally had to jump up and down on her porch so she could feel that we were there! She also made up her own words for things. She was born with the ability to hear, but the nerves in her ears stopped working before we were born. And, she only had a fourth grade education, so she did her best. Still, she couldn't quite understand certain words. For example, she called pizza "prison pie" and the microwave a "macaroni oven." She was such a special, special lady. Granny passed away in 2004, and I miss her terribly, but I am so thankful the Lord blessed me with her.

I also had a great-grandmother that I was close to. She raised my mother, (well, until my Daddy decided to, as they were married when my mother was 14!) and lived in the Pleasant Home community. I have lots of warm memories of her, too. Every Sunday we would go to her house after church and have lunch with her. On holidays, all of my (HUGE) family would gather at her house and visit. She had a bridge below her house and all of us kids would walk to the bridge and throw rocks into the water while the grown-ups drank coffee and talked the day away. We would play football in her big yard, and have the best time. Grandmother Teel passed away in 2002 at 98 years old. She and Granny taught me many, many lessons including how to love, and put the Lord first. Grandmother Teel always talked about forgiveness and reconciliation, which brings me to my next subject.

My mother's mother, Louise.

I have never been close to my grandmother Louise. I don't have many memories of her, and the ones I do have are not exactly pleasant. I have always thought that my mother could be different in many ways had it not been for her own mother. Though, I do not have the specifics of everything that happened, I always knew that there were some terrible events that happened in my mother's family. I have always blamed my grandmother for several things, and frankly I have had a problem in forgiving her. My mother, however, praise God, has been able to overcome her past, and become who she is today. She has even formed a relationship with her mother, and has fully forgiven her for whatever may have happened. Forgiveness is a funny thing. I have TRIED and TRIED to forgive my grandmother, but it is absolutely one of the hardest things to do. Right when I think I am over it and I have forgiven her, I am suddenly overwhelmed with memories and blame, and the bitterness consumes me yet again. I mean I have struggled with this for YEARS...

Two weeks ago, my grandmother became very ill. My mama and I were in Dothan for a doctor's appointment, and we went by to see my grandmother in the hospital for a few minutes. Though I felt no attachment to her, I began to pray that she would not leave this earth until she was saved, and right with the Lord. Her condition became more and more serious, and this past Sunday, per my mother's request, I went to visit my grandmother again. As I saw her there gasping for breath, and clearly in pain, a wave of compassion washed over me. For the first time in my life, I was truly able to forgive her. I saw that despite everything, she was still my mother's mother, and my mother loved her, and God loved her too. I continued to pray for her, my mother, and the rest of my family. Monday afternoon she passed away. As selfish as this may sound, I am so thankful that I went to see her, and that the Lord helped me to forgive her. I am thankful that no matter what, He loves me, and He forgives me, too. I can't imagine how unlovable I am! It is easy to see other's mistakes, but not so easy to see our own. I have come to realize (though I have heard it all of my life) that I have no right not to forgive because where would I be without God's gracious forgiveness? As we have been working to mourn the death in our family, this week has been draining and stressful. Today I went into work business as usual. About 10:30, Dr. Gacha called me in his office, and explained to me that, like everything else, the economy has affected our business, and that they could no longer afford to keep me on the payroll. I lost my job today. Believe it or not, through everything I have experienced this week, I am filled with such a peace that clearly is only from God. I truly have a peace that surpasses all understanding, and am overwhelmed and awed at His amazing love. You know, as I mentioned in an earlier post, Jeremiah 29:11 is a verse that has been on my heart all year. ("I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you hope and a future.") I saw my cousin Lynn at the Corner Market Monday, and she told me that she had prayed for that verse to come alive for me. It certainly has. Thank you, Lord. I am trusting you.

Destin

I hear that when you have children, (though I am SURE they are totally worth it) it becomes increasingly difficult to have time to develop stronger friendships, and just be spontaneous (like, say, having coffee with the girls at 10:00 at night...). Well, last Saturday was one of those rare chances (for Shonna and Lori, anyway.) We decided several weeks ago that we would all go to Destin and enjoy a fun night out. We (me, Jason, Shonna, Jamey, Lori and Ben) piled in Shonna's van (which we later discussed would have come in handy in high school, especially at Spring Break), and headed to Destin. First, we went to the outlets at San Destin, and did a little shopping. Of course, the boys and girls split up, as the boys cared nothing about perusing the purses at "Coach," and we don't care anything about surround sound. Then, we went to one of our FAVORITE restaurants. "Lousiana Lagniappe." Lori and Ben introduced us, and if you have never been, you can not even understand what you are missing. The food is mighty fine, and somehow tastes even better with the right company. After dinner, we sat around discussing old stories from high school and college, amazed that we all survived. Last, we went to the Destin Commons. The boys went to Bass Pro (surprise, surprise), and we went to Starbucks. (Shonna really took a chance, and ordered a diet coke! Just kidding, Shonna. But you can't beat a caramel latte'.) We walked to Books A Million, and then found a little table outside of Johnny Rockets. We sat and talked for literally hours. The boys were in and out because at times the conversation was about them! Reluctantly, at 10:30 or so we decided to leave. We had such a good time! I am very thankful that we have good Godly friends who we can have fun with, and I have a feeling there will be many more dinners in the future, kids and all!

We considered standing in the fountain for our picture, but decided this may be a better idea.

I think the boys were embarassed that we asked someone to take our picture. Jamey said you would think that we had never been to Destin before. But see Jamey, we would't have had this picture to remember our fun time!

QUIZ

I found this on a friend of a friend's blog. (THANKS!) Since, I don't have kids (YET) and couldn't use the kid meter (we tried - with the pic. of our dog...), I had to find a fun quiz.

About our hubbys...

1.What is his name? Jason Philip Fore

2. Who eats more? He does, but I look like it!

3. Who said, "I love you" first? I can't EXACTLY remember; I think it was me after a long night of ridiculous stupidity.

4. Who is taller? He is, just a LITTLE.

6. Who is more sensitive? Me, definitely.

7. Who does the laundry? Both of us -but that is the thing we have problems with. I just dread it! He is so nice to help me but I usually end up with streaks on my clothes from reds and whites washed in hot water together...

8. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? He does. Well, Tip does. He sleeps on the right AND left side. Between Tip, Happy, and Maisy on a queen size bed (YEAH, QUEEN SIZE BED), Jason and I barely have a corner!

9. Who pays the bills? Well, in the literal sense, that would be me. But he is the one who brings home the bacon.

10. Who cooks more? I do. Not much lately. No time.

11. Who is more stubborn? JASON FORE

12. Who is the first to admit they are wrong? Jason Fore

13. Who has more siblings? He does; one for him, none for me.

14. Who wears the pants in the relationship? We are both strong willed- and we have our differences. I HAVE made a conscious effort to serve him, as the Bible says he is the head of the household; I am still working on that...

15. What do you like to do together? travel, mainly; also, just hanging out at home (or with Lori and Ben), and having fun together.

16. Who eats more sweets? We're tied but he LOVES white chocolate Reese Cups.

17. Guilty Pleasures? baseball cards for him scrapbooking for me.

18. How did you meet? We were best friends in the ninth grade. He liked me but I didn't know. Sweet story...as a joke I told him at school one day that I was having my tonsils taken out. (I was really just going out of town.) He got a puppy and brought it to the hospital as a gift for me! He really is sweet. I used to pick him up for church on Sunday mornings when we were 16, and after church, we would play Nintendo all afternoon, then go back to church at night. God put us together. He says he used to pray to the Lord that He(God) would make me his(Jason) wife. AAAWWW....

19. Who asked whom out first? Neither - it just sort of happened.

20. Who kissed who first? He kissed me.

21. Who proposed? He did - under a tree one night at our church.

22. His best features and qualities? He has so many. He is so handsome and sweet. And FUNNY...also, he is still my best friend. I thank God for him every day.

23. Tag you’re it. Who do you tag? LORI, SHONNA, GINGER, HEATHER F, MICHELLE

Cheese

Well, Lori tells me I do not have enough pictures on my blog. The thought has occurred to me that some of you may not even realize that my blog is mine, because she is right; only a few pictures and they are very small. In my defense, remember, my computer is out of comission, and it's kind of hard to post new pics with no computer, scanner, or camera! And though most of these are not current, (remember I have lost 21 pounds!) here they are in all their glory! (HAHA) Plus, my friend Michelle (Bush) Royals informed me that I write WAY too much, and that she is not going to read it all. So here. Happy, Michelle?...

We are not sure exactly where this came from-we're thinking Jason Moore gave it to Lori, and I assume she made Jason Fore a copy. You know me and football, but this IS an awesome picture.
This was taken at Jordan Hare Stadium.

Tanner Tipler (Tip) Fore-what a monster! He has literally chewed my window sills to pieces. I have lost nice, expensive furniture because of him. Not to mention, lots of time, and many tears (mostly over shredded messes). Jason had always wanted a Red-Nose Pitt Bull, and I acquired him from a friend for a GOOD price for a surprise anniversary present. In the beginning, the dog and I had major problems with each other-we both thought we should be the boss. In the end, I won, and he has my heart. I love him so much as spoiled rotten as he is.

Lori and I at the river. I remember Tip was little, and we took him swimming for the first time...he HATED it.

Mama and Daddy at "The Buckboard."

(the same night)
Lori and I after a day in the sun at the river. One of our favorite family members was visiting, (Smith family reunion time- my husband could tell you how much fun that is, though as I am getting older I have come to appreciate it more) and we all went to dinner.

Big thing in the middle is the back of a bench. Lori set it up to automatically take our pic. This is at the Micky D's in St. Simons'. We were pretty impressed.


Our day trip to Savannah from St. Simon's. Lots of fun and beautiful.

This was written in the sand in St. Simon's Island in 2006. It was our first vacation with Lori and Ben. She had JUST found out she was pregnant with Jack. She didn't feel good the whole time, but we still had fun...

In St. Simon's Island after our "yummy"meal. We were sent to "the best place in town", and it was pretty terrible...

Jason and I heading to Honduras in Feb. 2007. It was his first time flying. What a life changing trip. I plan to blog about it later.

Jason and I and our "baby" Happy.


Our trip to the mountains, Dec. 26, 2007. We skipped the gift giving and took a trip instead. SO MUCH FUN. Here we are playing goofy golf. (My father-in-law, Mr. Kenny, my mother-in law, Mrs. Myra, my handsome hubby, Mama and Daddy.)

Christmas 2007-Mama, Mrs. Myra, and me at Dollywood.

Jack and Daddy, hence the name "Uncle Tractor".

These are two little boys that stole our heart. Though we don't get to spend as much time with them as we would like, we have been there for several firsts (first time bowling, first fishing trip, first ballgame...) Joseph is the oldest (and tallest). Jonathan is the youngest. They are sometimes a handful, as all boys are. We love them so much.

"One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind..."

Wow. That was lots of work (for Lori), and so time consuming. No wonder I don't post more pics!

2009

I can not believe it is 2009. There are so many things that I thought I would have accomplished by now that seem to be even farther out of reach. I had this tidy little plan for my life wrapped in a bow...almost nothing has turned out the way I thought. And thank God, might I add. His ways are not our ways. I had planned to be married at 23 (check), finish school and become a teacher (well...), and have a kid by 25! Still here I am, working at a doctor's office, married to a wonderful man (almost six years), and no children. Though, I hope the latter changes soon, I am so happy and blessed! I am glad the Lord knows best, and has my best interest in mind. I am reminded of a song..."Lord, keep me in Your will so I won't be in Your way." That is my prayer but much easier said than done, right?

Several passages from the Bible have been on my mind with the coming of the new year. Jeremiah 29:11, which I mentioned previously, and also some verses from the book of Matthew, particularly where Jesus addresses worry. As I hold the title of champion in this department, I am comforted by these words. It speaks of how we should not be concerned with our future, and how the Lord takes care of the flowers and the birds, so how much more will He provide for His children. I am also reminded of the Lord's love and faithfulness. I am referring to where He tells us to ask, seek, and knock. (I have this taped to my mirror in my bathroom, as I need to see this every day.) The verse speaks about how we love to give good gifts to our children, so imagine how much more the Lord loves to give good gifts to His children; we just need to ask and keep on asking. Seek and keep on seeking. This is an area that I have trouble with...I pray but then I become impatient. Again, His time is not our time. I am constantly challenged to just "be still." That is one of my many goals this year...not to give up on the Lord. He never gives up on me...

I am already overwhelmed with our schedule! It seems we have the whole year planned!

January brings a trip to the Shakespeare Festival, which I LOVE. Jason, Lori, Ben, and I are going to see a play about the life of Bear Bryant. I must say my husband has never been so excited about going to the Shakespeare Festival. We both are really looking forward to it!

February means another trip to Honduras. Jason and I went on our first mission trip to Honduras in Feb. 2007. It changed our lives. We loved it, and hope to go somewhere every year. Last year, Jason went to Nicarauga, but I was teaching preschool at the time, and the trip fell during the last week of school. My Daddy and Uncle Jack (Lori's daddy) actually went, though, and I was so glad they had the opportunity to go together. It was the longest time Jason and I had been apart, but we survived. Then Lori and I went to Ecuador on a prayer walking mission trip in June. It was very challenging, but lots of fun. (We were there on my 5 year anniversary-that was hard...) I had hoped to go back to Honduras with Jason this year, but I think the Lord has called my Daddy to go again. I think I'll be staying home with my mom. We will probably go visit my Aunt Pam in Tennessee while the men are gone. Also, Ben and Lori are SCHEDULED to move in their house in Feb. Lots of work for us all...

I am planning a trip to the mountains in March. Jason, Ben, and Lori just don't know it yet...And Piper's 1st birthday! Also, my sweet Mama's birthday.

April showers bring May flowers, this year Easter, and also several special birthdays...Jack Benjamin's and mine...the same day I might add! He was supposed to be born on his Uncle Tractor's birthday (that would be my daddy-April 18). Instead he was born on mine! Lots of fun and partying, as Jason's birthday is ALSO in April, and so is Timmy's!

June 14 is my anniversary! Jason and I don't know what we will do, but we have both agreed that we are going to do something special this year. We went to a Christian marriage retreat in 2006, and LOVED it. (A Weekend to Remember sponsored by FamilyLife) Maybe something like that?... Also, VBS at Hopewell is the end of June. BUSY...

July 4! I am excited because, unless something changes, I should be off that whole week! YAY!
Also, Tara's birthday is at the end of July!

August 4 is my Special Day, the day I was adopted. It has always been sort of a second birthday...a big celebration. How lucky am I? (Mainly because God gave me such AWESOME parents...) Then, Lori's birthday. Also football season. Enough said.

September, October, November...more football. But this is actually my favorite time of the year. Getting ready for cold weather and holidays...I LOVE IT!

Then we are back to December. So many events...Ben's birthday, my parent's (42nd!) anniversary, and of course Christmas! INSANE how time flies. And we all know it will be here before we know it!

Well, I didn't mean to make the year whiz by! Just thought I would share a little of our craziness ahead. I am sure each of you have your own busy schedule. I am going to try to slow down , and instead of being caught up with all the busyness, live in the present and savor every moment. Quite a challenge, but I sometimes feel like I am always planning and never enjoying. This year is going to be different...

Well, I have written too much again. (That is why I never have time to post!) More later!

Christmas

I hope each of you had a wonderful, beautiful Christmas! My family and I did. Though we can't pinpoint why, Jason and I agree that this Christmas was different and extra special. Of course, we got awesome gifts from each other and our family, but we all know that is not what Christmas is about. There seemed to be a sense of magical serenity, and I felt it not only in our family, but almost everywhere we went. We had lots of food, fun and family, and we made some really special memories this year. One of my favorite traditions happens every year on Christmas Eve. Our church always has a very meaningful, special ceremony that I so much look forward to. The church is filled with soft candlelight, and families come and go as they choose, and they are free to observe the Lord's Supper. My family and I always go. I LOVE IT! As we kneel at the altar, I am given the opportunity to focus on Christ and Christmas, and I am overcome by such a peace... I am overwhelmed by our precious Father's love for me, and am so thankful that He sent His Son. However, the quiet moment is truly only a moment, and then we're off to be consumed by the busyness. I must admit, I love that part of Christmas too. The hustle and bustle of the last minute gifts, dashing from family to family, and forcing myself to stay awake after my husband to put all of his goodies in his stocking! Christmas morning we always wake up early and go to my parents to see what "Santa" has brought. (He always comes as long as you believe!) Then we go to Jason's parents for breakfast. We open presents, and then usually go to Aunt Sandra's. This year, my parents and Jason's parents, as well as his brother came to my house at lunch. We had finger foods and watched "White Christmas." Then we went outside and played Tailgate Golf. (FUN) At dinner, we went to Aunt Sandra's, and had YUMMY food. We relaxed and played with my baby Jack, and then we all played Family Feud. (We missed Ben of course, but we are glad he feels up to going back to work!) Christmas is not over for me, as this weekend I am visiting with some of my favorite family members that I don't get to see a lot. (Many of you know Alan and my Aunt Pam...) As usual, I have really enjoyed visiting with them, and I always hate to see them go. (Bradley, I missed you, and can't wait to meet Erika and your beautiful baby girl.) So, to sum it up, I'll say again Christmas was/is amazing!

Now, here comes 2009. I can not believe it. "They" always told me that time passed more quickly as the years passed. How true it is! I, of course, have several resolutions that this year I intend to keep. I actually feel pretty good at the possibility of success, because I have actually already begun to take the necessary steps to achieve my goals. (Ex. 21 pounds since July...!)
My prayer is that this year be filled with health and happiness for my family and yours. I pray that my family grows closer together, and that we are able to serve the Lord with complete surrender, faith, and boldness, and that we make so many choices and memories that will impact the Kingdom. As simple as it is, one of my dreams is for my family to be well. I just think how beautiful it would be for my whole family to be able to go on a mission trip together. Who knows what the Lord has planned for us? I do know that He says he loves to give good gifts to His children, and that He works all things together for our good to glorify him. Jeremiah 29:11 has come to mean a lot to me over the years. A very special lady who has been a major influence in my life shared this verse with me at a time in my life when I was consumed by questions and confusion. Ever since then, I have faced many decisions about jobs and family, as well as the future. So many times I just want the Lord to write the answers in the sky. But, of course, that doesn't happen, which means I have to constantly seek his face. Well, with the promise of the new year peeking around the corner, I can't help but be excited. I just feel like the year to come will be full of hope and peace and trust and happiness and friendship. I pray that our families will take advantage of new opportunities and that we can all find meaning in purpose as we look to Jesus. Take care. Much love and happy New Year! Phillipians 1:3

P.S. HAHA Lori! I tricked you. You are always around and you ALWAYS know when I blog. I'm smarter! Just kidding. But I DID surprise you didn't I?

I am aware. . .it has been a while. I know. Believe me, I have wanted to catch up but, again, broken computer and busy, busy days. I can't believe Christmas is almost here! I have felt down, discouraged, and defeated most of the month, and it does make sense that satan is working over time to steal the joy from this beautiful time. Yet, the past couple of days, the Lord's merciful grace is completely abundant, and my cup runneth over yet again.

It has been a fun weekend! Friday night was filled with friends and fun, as we had our Sunday School party at church. "Dirty Santa" brought me a much needed set of knives (thanks, April!) and my husband a tool set, which he chose to unwrap because he recognized our Christmas paper. (Hey, you never know with "Dirty Santa", right Lou?) Saturday morning was our Christmas party for all the kids at church. We had an awesome turnout, and I think everybody had a good time. Me and Brooke (Stokes/Clark) complement each other, and somehow we get things done. I thank the Lord for Godly friends and helpers. (Also, a big thanks to Misty and Michelle.) Saturday afternoon was shopping in Greenville with my sweet mother-in-law (FUN), then we went to dinner with Tara and Timmy. It's funny how children and changes make dinner with friends less often, but more appreciated. Saturday night, we went to Lori and Ben's. Let the record show I came prepared to blog last night, but the computer was occupied. But finally here I am! I have several people I need to respond to, (HEY KAREN!) and I intend to. Again, time is limited, and I have to fight Ben and Jason for the computer! (Recruiting is always in season, whether football is or not!)


Well, in the spirit of the season, I have a couple of thing I would like to share. The first is a story that my boss recently shared with me, (I am not sure who it is written by, but it is not me) and it could not be more appropriate, as it pertains to Christians (ME). (I know this is a lot of reading, but please stay with me. . .I think you will be glad you did.) The second regards weight loss, (received from a coworker) words that cause us to shudder with disgust and fear this time of year. I have been dedicated and committed, however I am taking a small time out until January. Read on. These are definitely rules to follow! (LOL)

I hope to post again soon, but we all know how that goes. I wish each of you a merry Christmas filled with Jesus and joy. Much love.

" Satan called a world wide conventionof demons. In his opening address he said:
"We can't keep Christians from going to church. We can't keep them from reading their Bibles, and knowing the truth. We can't even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with their Savior. Once they gain their connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken. So let them go to their churches; let them have their covered dish dinners, but steal their time, so they don't have time to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ. This is what I want you to do", said the devil. "Distract them from gaining hold of their Savior and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day." "How shall we do this?" his demons shouted. "Keep them busy in the nonessentials of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds", he answered. "Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow. Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours, and the husbands to work 6 or 7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day so they can afford their empty lifestyles. Keep them from spending time with their children. As their families fragment, soon their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of work! Overstimulate their minds so they can not hear that still, small voice. Entice them to play the radio whenever they drive. . .to keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home, and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-biblical music constantly. This will jam their minds and break their union with Christ. Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers. Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day. Invade their driving moments with billboards. Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, catalogs, sweepstakes and every kind of newsletter and promotional offerering free products, services, and false hopes. Keep skinny beautiful models on the magazines and TV so their husbands will believe that outward beauty is what's important, and they'll become dissatisfied with their wives. Keep their wives too tired to love their husbands at night. Give them headaches too! If they don't give their husbands the love they need, they will begin to look elsewhere. That will fragment their families quickly! Give them Santa Claus to distract them from teaching their children the real meaning of Christmas. Give them an Easter bunny so they won't even talk about His resurrection and power over sin and death. Even in their reactions, let them be excessive. Have them return from their recreation exhausted. Keep them too busy to go out in nature, and reflect on God's creation. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, plays, concerts, and movies instead. Keep them busy, busy, busy! And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, leave with troubled consciences. Crowd their lives with so many good causes, they have no time to seek power from Jesus. Soon they will be working in their own strength sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause. It will work! It will work! It was quite a plan. The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere have little time fortheir God or their families, having no time to tell others about the power of Jesus to change lives."
I guess the question is has the devil been successful at his scheme? You be the judge! Does "busy" mean: Being Under Satan's Yoke


Holiday Eating Tips
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the holiday spirit. in fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they are serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. It's rare. You can not find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think.

3. If something comes with gravy , use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they are made with skim or whole milk. If its skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you excercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you will need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10 pound plate of food, and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at the buffet table, like frosted cookies in the shape and size of a steering wheel, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a new pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. i mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways , chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"